Teens like to actively participate in deciding what happens to them. This includes the kind of care they get. Parents need to act as partners with their teens in making health care decisions.

Recognizing the fears that teens commonly have when going to a hospital will help you prepare. Common fears and concerns may include:

• Loss of control
• Being away from school and friends
• Having a part of their body damaged or changed in appearance
• Fear of surgery and its risks
• Pain
• Dying during surgery
• Fear of the unknown
• Fear of what others will think about them being sick or in the hospital

These suggestions will help you prepare:

• Let your teen be part of the decision-making process. Encourage them to make a list of questions to ask the doctor. If needed, help them assert themselves during the office visit.
• Your teen should start learning and preparing as soon as the decision to have surgery is made. Reading books and accessing trustworthy online sites suggested by your teen's doctor are good places to start.
• Child life specialists can provide age-appropriate explanations and help teens in finding a variety of trustworthy resources.
• Teens find it hard to admit that they don't understand something. Parents and health care professionals may need to explain treatment in several different ways, without making the teen feel uncomfortable.
• Be honest and open with your teen about what will happen. But stay away from overly graphic, frightening descriptions. Explain what your teen will see, smell, hear, taste, or touch. Ask your doctor for information if you are unsure.
• Consider asking your teen's friends from school to send cards or call during recovery. But first, get approval from your teen before sharing any information or asking friends to make contact.
• Your teen may find it helpful to write down their thoughts and feelings in a private notebook or journal.
• Encourage your teen to pick out and bring a few comfort items from home, such as books, handheld video games, a laptop computer (if internet access is available) or other digital devices, and headphones. If your child has a cellphone, be sure to bring the charging cable.
• In the hospital, your teen may have mood swings. It's important to be patient and understanding. Your teen can become withdrawn and not want to talk or answer questions. There may be times when your teen needs to be alone.
• Let your teen know that it's okay to be afraid and to cry. They might need to know you have the same worries as they do. Reassure your teen of your support.
• Learn as much as you can about your teen's condition. Rather than doing random online searches, ask your doctor for reliable internet sites. Teens can tell when their parents are worried. The more accurate information you have, the better you will feel about explaining the situation to your teen.
• Be truthful when answering questions. Teens may become angry if they think people are keeping secrets from them. They need to understand what is wrong with their body. How the information is given is often as important as what information is given.
• Privacy is very much a need of your teen. Teens are often as private about their thoughts and feelings as they are about their bodies. Always respect their privacy.